August 17, 2015

the situation.

I did a lot this weekend. It was probably one of the best weekends I've had in a really - and I mean that.. long time.

We'll keep it short & simple because Travelocity awaits me.. ( the holidays God willing,  will be spent gawking at beautiful things somewhere between Park Ave, Broadway.. Saks & the windows at Barneys )

- Friday Evening - Hot air balloon 'Festival' ... the word festival is quite questionable... BUT ... for the sake of this post & that small town.. we'll let it be.

- Saturday Afternoon - Myself & a friend of mine rode the TRE downtown and went to the circus.. because my life isn't a circus enough.. I needed to see a little more crazy.. I mean... at least they get to wear glitter / sequins all over their crazy.. if only..

- Saturday Evening - We met up with two of our favorite brother's from different mothers.. and cracked up about life and a load of other things.. pretty much late into the night.. and we ended up at the bowling alley.
 
SIDE NOTE : this is how I discovered at 22 .. that the little 5 year old in the bowling lane next to us with her parent's.. will ... always be better than me at bowling. Sometimes you gotta loose. I'd be okay with loosing to that cute little girl any day.

- Sunday - Church, Food, Nap, Jersey Shore.... OH MY GAWSH. 

I'm pretty much embarrassed at the fact that I almost did not wake up on time for work because of the freaking Jersey Shore. Let's just say I got 3 hours of sleep.. came home during my lunch break and took an hour long nap. I really need a hobby.

& with that, we close.. we hope.. and we look forward to whatever Lord willing this week has in store for me.

Diligently working on #WGodSC

- Jx



August 4, 2015

New..

Month.

New week.

New day (s) to come.. God willing of course.

New experiences.

New challenges.

New memories.

New expectations.

New laughter.

New take-on things.

New boundaries.

New forgiveness.

New happiness.

New You.

New Us.

New Me.

I'm excited for what's to come.

" If anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW creation.. The old has passed away and the new things have come."

2 Corinthians 5:17

God is ALWAYS good.

- Jx.

July 29, 2015

The things that..

keep us alive.

One day I will write a really good book. Of course I say really good.. because it'll be my book.

-- Its Wednesday & I've survived the last three days.

Praise God.

It's like: We we're in the middle of filming a Taylor Swift video.. the happy kind.. like... the one's where she would prance around... during her high school heart loves that then turn into bitter breaks / aches.. and then....we ran out of film.

I know. Complete Catastrophe.

So far I've learned.

I'm stronger than I think I am. I mean.. for all I know.. I could quite possibly turn out to be THE strong black woman.. everyone raves about.

My God. My faith & His love... are EVERYTHING. When you cry for hours and days.. you eventually stop crying.. and even when you TRY to cry... Honestly.. it sorta becomes impossible to cry without you yourself thinking of just how much you might be faking those tears. 

You no longer sigh just because.. every sigh you let out can only mean one of two things.. (1) This sucks.. (2) I'm going to be ok.. and lastly... 

let's quote Sex & The City... at this point (it's a must) ..

Carrie: Will I ever laugh again?
Miranda: Yes.
Carrie: When?
Miranda: When something is really, really funny.

Let me tell ya'll.. Yup. It's true.. you do laugh & smile again.. and then you ask God to bless those who provide you with that gift in the midst of your pain.. with many abundant and infinite happy moments they too may one day need in order to laugh off their storm. 

In this life, unfortunately... storms are unavoidable.. but once things settle down.. it will all be clear.

As I sit here outside Starbucks.. typing away on a laptop that's not even mine.. drinking passion tea with strawberry instead of my usual lemonade.. I am reminded that it's ok to try new things. 



It's ok to be different. It's ok to not always be in control.. however next time.. I will not get passion tea if there's no lemonade.. the strawberry mix gave it a nasty Robitussin taste.. I still said ok.. because the guy was nice and friendly and offered to mix me a different flavor if I didn't like it.. but I think I have enough issues at the moment.. and the least of my worries is how much I need to enjoy my passion tea. ( Yup.. you become a teeny weeny less bitchy about things that don't matter.. when you are facing things that may have just turned the world you've always known completely and utterly upside down..).. Back to where I was going with this.. There's so many trees. I haven't noticed in weeks just how green they are.. and how nice it feels to sit outside without being buried in stress of how motherf-ing hot it is. It's partly cloudy.. and there's plenty of little kids running around being loud as can be.. and it's nice. Life goes on. The world must keep spinning even if its not spinning the way we think it should be..

I AM blessed.. I AM happy. I AM confident that God has a plan. There would be no content for the upcoming ( insert project name ) .. if this was not happening.. I am sure of it.

How great it is to live confidently in Christ.. and.. sure people stare and think you're crazy, brain washed and stupid. But I know WHO I serve. I know WHO loves me. I know WHO goes before me. 

My God is AWESOME

- Jx. 

July 27, 2015

The glory is yours.

"
Before I speak a word
Let me hear Your voice
And in the midst of pain

Let me feel Your joy
I wanna know You
I wanna find You
In every season
In every moment

Before I speak a word
I will bring my heart
And seek You

First. "

Trial after trial. Mountain over Mountain. Raging Sea over Sea. Fire over Fire.

In the flesh I step out and I am weak. To the point where I've literally fallen to the floor. In the Spirit I am strong. Knowing, where I am at this very moment. Is exactly where HE wants me to be. Holding on to his every word. Over come with all kinds of emotions in knowing that if.... HE.... IS FOR ME, THEN WHO CAN BE AGAINST ME? ... 

& If this is a solid reminder from God.. to keep him FIRST.

HE WILL NEVER again.. be second.

Father you are so merciful & wonderful in everything that YOU DO.. and even when it feels as if you aren't listening to every word that pours out of my soul.. I know you are.. because you already know what I'm going to say before I even say it.. you already know what I'm going to do before I even have the thought come to mind. I love you father. I trust you. & the more I seek you, the deeper I fall in love with you. I want you. I need you. I can't be without you. & In this very moment, flood my heart, my spirit, my soul with you peace, your love and your super natural strength that only you can give.. I'm ready for this battle, because I know WHO goes BEFORE ME.. You shut the mouths of lions. You parted the sea for Moses. You allowed the three men who we're loyal & faithful to you to survive the fire. You allowed Peter to walk on water.. You stood before David as he stoned Goliath. You ARE A REAL GOD. You are LIVING. You are no longer on the cross. You are in heaven. Looking down on all of your children who call on you name. I am your princess. I am your daughter. & NO ONE messes with the DAUGHTER of the KING OF KINGS. I stand firm on your word. Your promises and on the faith that only you give me. You know who I was, Who I am, and Who I will become. I trust you, love, honor and seek YOU first.