Yesterday was one of the most random days ever.
I was basically riding the Titan of emotional roller coasters.. (yet again).. It wasn’t even lunch time and I had already managed to cry .. no small sobs.. a full on cry.. at work. With people around.. AWESOME.
Let’s chronicle these events post lunch / post work.
I was feeling pretty crappy and I decided that I needed to get my life together and remind myself that whoever this current person thinks she is or isn’t.. is not the case.. so I grabbed a piece of paper and started writing myself a letter..
I looked over at my ‘Sassy YET Classy’ mug and I had ONE stamp left.. It was a 20 second debate.. should I go full on therapist and mail the letter out to my home address? Answer: YES. There I am writing away the things that only I know I can change and the things I know will never change.. the things that define me and make me who I am.. and Who I want to be… not Who I’ve been told I am, or have been told to be.. It was incredibly liberating. I folded it up and put it in a hallmark card envelope I had left over from a Mother’s Day card … I stamped it and after work I drove over to the post office and dropped it in the box. Today at some point in the afternoon I will be opening up the letter and probably thinking WTF. I’m not sure that I remember 90% of what I wrote.. ( Believe me when I say I’m having an emotional breakdown.. I cried while writing it too.. so.. IDK.. Major WTF) .
After the post office, I decided to go see my Aunt/Cousins that are visiting from Florida.. I took Thor over to make it a little less awkward … given that I haven’t ever actually met them in person.. (kids.. not aunt) .. and it worked. Thor is my lucky charm.
It was very brief but it was quite pleasant.
I drove over to my parents’ house to hang out with my mom and mellie.. we chatted and I expressed to them how I’ve been feeling the last couple of weeks. Let’s just say my mom and I are both very opinionated and don’t necessarily always see eye to eye or meet in the middle.. so somewhere in the middle of my distress .. instead of finding comfort.. I started a fight. My mom and I got into it and then she started bringing up more stuff and I was like WHOA WHOA WHOA.. This is my turn. To tell you how I feel. We ended up arguing and I left pissed. Really Pissed. WELL.. As the Lord would have it… there I am at the stop light getting ready to turn onto the main road when this dumbass decides to make the WIDEST turn of his life and by God’s grace he did not crash into me.. he was about a millisecond a way from squishing me and Thor.. AND to top it off.. he still HONKED AT ME.. I WAS LIKE YO BRO.. ARE YOU KF –ing KIDDING ME!!! YOU ALMOST HURT ME AND MY BABY YOU DUMBASS!! I really can’t reason with people. They’re too much to deal with.
In that moment I realized that I needed to turn back and go see my mom and apologize for the way that I had acted.. (knowing she probably would not apologize) but I didn’t care.. I could have just died and I didn’t want those to be the last words we spoke to each other… So I did.. I drove back & apologized.. It made me feel a lot better.
I eventually went back home.. I parked and as I was walking towards the front door I realized how freaking hot it was outside.. that can only mean one thing.. POOL TIME!
I quickly fed Thor.. put my bathing suit on.. and grabbed my flaotie & my magazine.. The pool was dirty from the storm the night before.. but OH WELL you got to take what you can get. I sat there for a good hour just soaking up the sun. It was so relaxing. I want to do it again today.
& to top it all off. Giuliana Rancic – Responded to something I wrote her. #goingoffscript
As of today.. Thursday Morning.. there’s not much to get done around here.. I’m struggling to even stay awake… my eyes are heavy and droopy.. I’m so sleepy… I did receive some notifications that my Marc Jacobs & Forever 21 orders have been shipped! Whoo Whoo!!
Im telling yall shopping is addicting. Don’t let the consumer.. consume.